Saturday, June 6, 2020


I have read more than a few bloggers and some FB friends that are struggling with gratitude. 

When I start feeling ungrateful I remind myself of the followings

I wasn't suppose to live from birth... I am my parents put it I am a miracle.

I wasn't suppose to crawl ... I didn't ...I walked which I definitely wasn't suppose to be able to do.

I had horrible speech problem... I don't now after years of speech therapy

I have went without food as a child and teen ... I don't go without now (and neither do my kids unless they don't say something since they no longer live at home).

I went without decent clothes, I was a girl and in how my parents were raised girls were not important as they didn't carry on the name, they were workers in the home and that was all. Daddy stopped be that way when  I had my first as she was a girl. Mother never got over Brother not having children until he was 50 and then it was a girl and he made sure there wasn't going to be any more (he has a step son). Mother before she got cancer ,even offered to pay for him to adopt a boy as my brother is the last on Daddy's side.

I have been homeless while trying to go to college, been homeless when I had part of my kids. I am not now and neither or they as they all know they can come home if needed.

I have been abused , emotionally, verbally and physically by family ... I am not now.My parents were raised abused... they started breaking that cycle with my brother and me, I would love to say we have broke it even more as not only do we not abuse...we don't take abuse either.

My late husband died from a heart attack at age 39 leaving me with our 6 kids, no health ins, no life ins and no will. Lots of back utilities bills (he handled the money). I had just given up my part time job to be with the kids as a babysitter was more than I was earning. I had no money coming in. We made it, I paid the bills off, worked jobs when the kids were in school or not at home, sold things we could go without. Made clothes from other clothes or what other people said were rags like ripped sheets.

 Daddy was raised by an Amish grandmother (his mom was an invalid) and his Dad was Old German Baptist. Mom's family were non believers and Spiritualist(her great grandma was Native American). I still remember the fight Mother had with Daddy when he bought a huge Bible for me when I was 7 yrs old.She didn't want it in her home and it was the first time Daddy ever ruled the home. Brother got one when he graduated the same year as me but he had been allowed to go to the local church because he went with friends and connected him to those he played sports with... the image Mother wanted for her son. 

Still, raised in that home I had my faith and I hold that faith tight with gratitude as it is what gets me through those times. I try to remember to learn the lessons even if it's I don't ever want to go through this again lesson. 

When the gardens don't produce enough more than a meal I am grateful as I had the chance to raise the gardens unlike the city folk surrounded by concrete with no where try to grow food.

When you are feeling ungrateful, count the hard times you have made it through, count the family and friends you have, the four legged ones also. Count the things you have , home, a way to get to places, medical care, food (I lived in a food desert). 

What you are wanting or not wanting ... might not be the plan that is for you at this time... what ever your faith is... be silent and listen... you can't hear if you are not silent.  Time will bring what is best if you keep doing what is good.  

If you read the Bible... JOB and RUTH are two good books to read when you struggle with gratitude.

Blessed Be