What necessities have to be bought? Last week was none food, this week is food.
What do we do about the child that says one thing to us and another to his teacher and both are lies that could cause someone trouble?
What do we do about the mother of the child (our daughter) that isn't doing what she should so she can see him (been a month) let alone have him living with her again?
What do we do about both the SUV and the truck needing repairs?
Do I work on the house getting it winterized for this winter?
OR
Do the washing that has the winter bedding and clothes so I can dry them on the line to keep the electric bill down.
OR
Just focus on the incoming harvest?
Trying to do all 3 just put me down for 2 days with my Crohn's. It doesn't like stress...Even my Hubby that never has complained of stress in over 20 yrs. complained of stress yesterday and considering we have dealt with 2 different children being suicidal, kids losing homes, us losing homes, my heart failure, my Crohn's and his work went down to 3 days a week for 2 yrs and mine going away completely causing us into a Chapter 13 bankruptcy (slow pay)etc...it takes a lot for him to acknowledge he is stressing...which, of course, stressed me even more.
What to do?
Hold on to my faith with both hands.
Take a deep breath, release....okay, do it again and again and again.
First is, pay the medical bill, landlord is okay with being paid on next Thursday. His running joke is he knows were we live and he can always shop for his groceries in my pantry...true, very true and he knows if we weren't here that the house would sit empty and he would have nothing coming in anyways except the bills of keeping it in good condition. It's the old homestead and he was leery of renting it out anyways and can't rent to family due to tax reasons.
Second,I think milk, coffee beans (we use less if we grind our own then if we buy ground coffee, saves us about $10/wk) and possible in season fruit and veggies that we don't have in our garden.
Third,Okay, we dumped that on the school counselor and his psychologist. I am dumping mine on my counselor.
Fourth, I can't force my daughter to do anything, it's to the point that she threatens to harm us if we are anywhere near her. I leave her in God's hands.THAT IS HARD.
Fifth,make a list of repairs needed, price out what is needed and prioritize the repairs. What can we do ourselves and what will have to be hired. We have 2 very good and affordable mechanics.
LAST...winter wash, weatherization,harvest...all 3 are very important but nothing gets done when I am down with my Crohn's. I can weatherize when it's raining, I can do the winter wash on good days. Harvest can be done rain or shine...the in ground garden is when its shine and the rest in square foot gardens can be done in the rain. I have been known to put my muck boots on and go in the in ground garden and harvest...horrible and messy but doable.
Sometimes I just need to stop and write it out.
I, too, have an autoimmune disease, and I know the frustration of sinking physically just when I want and need to be the most capable. I have no wise answers for you, but I can at least validate the frustration that particular aspect of these days might be causing you. You're not alone in having your body react that way. While I'm far from believing that I was saddled with this illness to "teach me" something, that doesn't mean that I can't learn something from it, and that's to prioritize what's important to me and my family. That's to get over the feeling that just because I always tried to do the right things, I should earned an easy ride right now. That's what you're doing, too, it seems. Congratulations.
ReplyDelete